KARIME, KARIME OH SWEET KARIME!

A year ago I put an add on FB requesting friends and family to help me find qualified and available caregivers to interview for a job here.  My good friend Laura then shared the message on her Marine wives private group. Itzia, Karime's sister, saw the post and notified her immediately. Within 2-3 days of posting the message I was contacted by Karime, we scheduled an interview and she was hired shortly after meeting her. 
Karime is a beautiful young woman about 28 years old, She took care of a lady with ALS whom she speaks highly of.  Karime is a caregiver and she's been in the field now for a little over 3 years. She's a self driven, hard working, BIG hearted, goofy, individual.    

After a year now I can say.....
Karime forgets to put the milk back in the fridge many times, and forgets to put the lids back on the containers.  She leaves half empty cups of coffee/water everywhere around the house.
"Karime! Your little dog pooped and peed in the room again!" (that has been the most recent problem lol)
She's pert near Perfect! (In Mr Booth's words)

***How she got a dog, if she has never been a dog lover??***

She was coming back from Tijuana, while waiting in line to cross the border one of the venders put a little tiny dog in her hands and told her, "She's a two month mini chihuahua dog with all her shots for $150" 
She ate it all up and bought the dog. A few days and over $1,000 later she finds out the dog was only 5-6 weeks old and needed all kinds of medical treatment.  She named the dog Coco and it's the cutest Chihuahua-Pug ever. lol 

I can't express enough how much Hiring Karime has not only helped Mr Booth but has Helped ME. 

 I had put my entire life on hold to care for Mr Booth, I thought I could do it all alone.  Depression kicked in, Weight gain, loss of personal life.

 I kept repeating to myself this phrase my father always tells me 

"A mayor Sacrificio, Mayor Recompensa" (The greater the sacrifice, the greater the reward)

After interviewing Karime, I knew she was the missing puzzle to Mr Booth, Quincy and I.  

I gained MY LIFE BACK. I have free time to go to the gym, and boy do I love that.  I'm healthy.

Started attending church again, even joined Church Choir. 
Karime has NO Idea how much she means to me, She was sent from God to help me gain my life back. I will forever Thank her for that.
  I have no doubt in my mind she will succeed in everything she sets her mind to. She's a full time student, a part time SideCar Driver, full time caregiver, a mother to a furry baby and a decent girl friend Ive been told ( ;) jk, she's a great one) 
It's been ONE year that she has been here with us and I already know she will be in my life forever. THANK YOU KARIME, and Cheers to another year here with Mr Booth, Quincy and now Coco. <3 <3 <3  Love you KAREEEEM!! <3 

GOD IS GOOD!!

Withdrawal the Negative

Sometimes we get so consumed in a life situation i.e.: Love relationship, work, that we forget about ourselves. We forget to take care of ourselves and when we try to gain the reins back in our lives it's like a drug addict going through withdrawals.

Ive been so consumed in Work for the last 7+ years of my life, that Ive gone through some personal emotional struggles. Ive battled depression, Ive battled weight gain, Ive battled health, And Ive battled with maintaining a relationship.  

2015 has been a year of sweeping all the trash and dust in my life and throwing it away. By that I mean, Ive been cleaning up a lot of the problems I have and making room for new and wonderful things to happen in 2016. It's not easy but Im giving myself 12 months to work on it. 

I hired someone wonderful January to help me here at work, and that has given me time to care for myself. Her help has been what Ive needed, and maybe I was afraid to ask for help. Maybe I thought I was tough and could handle it, all while sinking into quick sand that was slowly drowning me.   

In February I reached out and signed up for some health insurance. It's been the second best thing to happen. $317 bucks a month, you best believe Im taking advantage of that. *lol*  Got these hormones back in a good balance, couldn't take this emotional rollercoaster anymore.  Everything I needed to know, I got answers to. Im Healthy and that gives me so much peace of mind.  

I started working out, and getting those endorphins going. Not going to lie, it was hell at first. Now, I've started doing my favorite workout, which is Jump rope, without being scared of breaking my knees and ankles. lol  Ive lost quite a bit of weight (not going to say an exact number but trust me, it's quite a bit) and I feel my confidence going up.  Watch out 2016, they aint ready for MarMar. 

**Sigh** Dating.  Dating in itself is hard. Dating after not dating for a while is nerve wrecking. When do you know you're actually ready to start dating? That's a question Ive been asking myself.  I don't want to start a relationship with a bag full of problems. FYI, that bag is in the trash bin. ;) How do I ease my way back in the dating scene? What will I say?   I have gotten so many 'advice' from many friends in relationships,  "Get on an online dating site AGAIN".  Can't two people meet naturally any more? Maybe online dating is the new Natural.  Maybe my soulmate lives out of state, Maybe I need to move. Maybe I just need to relax and give it a chance, Give MYSELF a chance. 

2015 is getting close to ending and I have to say that God is Blessing me beyond measures Or maybe it's the Good luck Chinese money my friend Eugene gave me this year.  Either way, Something beyond me and this world is looking out for me and Im sure everything will workout. One Favor to ask of you reading my Blog, Say a small prayer for me. ;)   

Thank you all for reading and God Bless

LOVE,

MarMar

Losing my Identity

For the last few weeks, Ive felt discombobulated.  I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore. Ive had the need to start this blog and really explain to everyone who I am exactly.  People have their assumptions of how I grew up, how I live, how my temperament is. Even though I know it shouldn't matter what people think of me, I feel the need to explain why I feel lost in this world at this moment. 
During the Summer of 2008, I had gone through a bad breakup, everything about Long Beach would literally bring me to tears. I couldn't see people smiling, I couldn't even listen to music, everything reminded me of Him and the fact that He was no longer by my side. Dreams, goals, were all with HIM.   I had no where to go.  I quit my wonderful position at Bally Total Fitness after being employed for 7 years because I didn't care about anything. Just like Alexander in Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, Not good, Very bad day Children's book, I too wanted to move to Australia. Somewhere far, far away where I could start my life fresh. 
This caregiver opportunity came from up above, I swear. The opportunity came 6 months later after the Terrible, Horrible, not good, very bad breakup. I drove up to Beautiful San Diego Friday, the day after my summer school finals, and started the following Monday.
July 14, 2008
After moving to the beautiful, wealthy, quiet area named Rancho Santa Fe,Wikipedia, With an estimated, median income of $188,859, it's also on the list of highest income communities in the United States.
I felt amazing. Incredible to feel the fresh air, the sense of a new beginning in my life. I could literally feel the wind in between my fingers, hear the birds chirping loud and clear without being eliminated by loud police sirens.  There were no cars screeching in the neighborhood, no kids playing outside, no cars parked on the street, except my old, faded, burgundy Dodge Intrepid.  
      We'll call my boss, My Viejito (My little old man in Spanish). When he hired me, he had me walk over to his master bedroom and pointed me to sit on one of the nice comfy reclining chairs. After talking about his life, he followed by saying "Treat this house as if it was yours, You can buy yourself anything you want from the grocery store, you will have your own room with it's own bathroom. We (his son Harris, my viejito and I) go out to dinner 2-3 times a week". In my mind I'm screaming of joy! "Can this get any better??".  We go to Denny's 2 to 3 times a week sometimes, They took me to Red Lobster for the very first time in my life not to mention Ruth's Chris Steak House...never even heard of that restaurant before...and after I had a glimpse of the bill I knew why they didn't have those in Long Beach. lol  The feeling of having no financial dilemma, the thought of driving a brand new vehicle, the thought of buying pretty much anything you feel like it is a blessing and it feels amazing. 
    July 14, 2014 it'll be 6 years since Ive Been working here. I miss the smell of burnt engine in the driveway, dogs barking at passing pedestrian, loud music, busses passing, 99 cent stores in less than 5 miles proximity, diverse cultures. I MISS MY HOOD. I feel like an outcast here.  I don't belong in this area that I call home. These thoughts were really weighing me down, I felt like screaming to everyone "I AM MEXICAN. MY DAD MAKES THE BEST BIRRIA AND I LOVE TO LISTEN TO BANDA!" It's definitely a crazy feeling, unexplainable. It's none of their business where I come from, or who I am. I don't do it for them, I do it for myself. I feel like Im losing that part of me that makes me unique and special. 
This past weekend I decided to take it off and finally join my family on a good weekend vacation.  My parents own a home about 30 minutes away from the Calexico border, we were celebrating my little brother's 23rd birthday. I was a little hesitant, because the last time I was there visiting, IT WAS SCORCHING HOT! The fans they had going at full speed did that cut it. There was sooo much work to be done in that house, not to mention the blood sucking mosquitos. Well let me just say, IT WAS AMAZING! 
 The home was fully furnished, AC in each room, beautiful tile flooring. I felt a sense of comfort lol. I feel I've regained some of the identity I was looking for. Out in the dirt roads, 107+ degree weather, infested with blood sucking mosquitos, I recovered about 10 shades of my skin color. I was surrounded by my wonderful big Mexican family. My father and the neighbor in Mexicali killed a Pig and made Carnitas. We also enjoyed a good Carne Asada, Mariscos, and amazing Piña Coladas. We all enjoyed the company of each other, NO cell phones. We took pictures with the 6 goats My dad had in the back yard, rode the dirt bikes on the beach, played in the sand. You won't believe this, but there was a Paletero (Ice cream truck) driving along the shore.  Even though that is not enough for me, that'll do for right now.  Till the next Family trip. :) 

God has Blessed me with more than I've ever imagined. I just need to learn how to balance myself in both worlds without losing myself, in the meantime....I'll enjoy my Banda music here in the beautiful Rancho Santa Fe. 

UGH! 

 This is one of the hardest things I've ever wanted to do.  Im scared to be vulnerable because I want people to see me as a Tough Mothafuka. (excuse my french)  My Blog will tell MY Life, what I actually feel inside, no sugar coating. I will write about my faith,  how it is growing up as an only sister, how it is growing up as a cancer survivor (Ovarian Cancer to be exact), the battle of dating and trying to find that prince charming to love me and understand everything I am and am not and the WAR of loosing weight.  Okay okay...and maybeeee other secrets I have, if I have the balls to talk about them. 

    I really don't think I would of made it this far without God and my faith in him. I truly feel as if Im in a bubble and he's protecting me from death and seeing scary demonds in my room. I always hear people talk about how they've seen shadows wondering around in their hallways, lol God knowwwws... if I ever see anything like that, that'll be the end of me. Seriously. lol I pray for love, happiness and health for my family...I really need to work on praying for myself. I'm working on it. :)

    Being an only sister is tough. My father has raised me to never let anyone push me around. As a little girl I was always surrounded by boys, my brothers, their friends and the neighbors. Believe it or not, I was one tough little girl, I would fight if I had to defend myself. I got into a few fist fights with the boys, good thing they were gentlemen...they would never hit me back. :)  Ive definitely changed in that area. Im a lover not a fighter. Being the only sister of 4 strong men is pretty cool yet extremely competitive. Whatever they do I want to prove that I can do better, If they were playing a game of basketball I want to play with them, I want to make that 3-pointer too or maybe two to beat them.  I have so many great memories with them and lots more to come God willing. 

    At age 13, the year 1996 I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. Shocking I know. How does this shit happen to a 13 year old girl??  Trust me, even the very own doctors were shocked. I don't have an explanation on HOW this happened, or WHY it happened to me, I wish I knew the answers to those same questions. I will go more in depth on that...stay tuned ;) 

  Trying to find my prince charming is pretty tough, specially after growing up around guys all your life and you 'think' you know when they're trying to bullshit you to get you in bed. I've been very lucky to date men who besides wanting to get a lil frisky on the first date, they are nice. lol I don't think of them as bad people, Hey...they want to see how far they can get.  If I sense they're not serious about getting to know me...I get up and go. I've had my share of great dates and 'almost relationships' Things go bad when I start feeling insecure and think they'll leave once they find out I can't have children. That ONE reallyyyy bad breakup....Yes! I'll talk more about that too.

   Weight loss has been a constant battle, better yet a WAR, ever since I was a little girl.  That has not changed. Working at a fitness center aka Bally Total Fitness for 7years you would think I would have this weight loss on lock down, well I sure DON'T.  It's hard. I won't give up though. Thank God I have great friends that keep me motivated.  That would be a loooong topic for me to talk about. Nervous about this one too. 

   Im ending this by saying how excited I am to be able to release so much thoughts, feelings I have inside. I know Im not the only one in this world going through these types of issues and others that will pop up during this blogging journey. This makes me very vulnerable and transparent, so don't judge me. Im not a good writer so don't criticize me on that. :-p

Asta la Proxima......

GOD IS GOOD