UGH! 

 This is one of the hardest things I've ever wanted to do.  Im scared to be vulnerable because I want people to see me as a Tough Mothafuka. (excuse my french)  My Blog will tell MY Life, what I actually feel inside, no sugar coating. I will write about my faith,  how it is growing up as an only sister, how it is growing up as a cancer survivor (Ovarian Cancer to be exact), the battle of dating and trying to find that prince charming to love me and understand everything I am and am not and the WAR of loosing weight.  Okay okay...and maybeeee other secrets I have, if I have the balls to talk about them. 

    I really don't think I would of made it this far without God and my faith in him. I truly feel as if Im in a bubble and he's protecting me from death and seeing scary demonds in my room. I always hear people talk about how they've seen shadows wondering around in their hallways, lol God knowwwws... if I ever see anything like that, that'll be the end of me. Seriously. lol I pray for love, happiness and health for my family...I really need to work on praying for myself. I'm working on it. :)

    Being an only sister is tough. My father has raised me to never let anyone push me around. As a little girl I was always surrounded by boys, my brothers, their friends and the neighbors. Believe it or not, I was one tough little girl, I would fight if I had to defend myself. I got into a few fist fights with the boys, good thing they were gentlemen...they would never hit me back. :)  Ive definitely changed in that area. Im a lover not a fighter. Being the only sister of 4 strong men is pretty cool yet extremely competitive. Whatever they do I want to prove that I can do better, If they were playing a game of basketball I want to play with them, I want to make that 3-pointer too or maybe two to beat them.  I have so many great memories with them and lots more to come God willing. 

    At age 13, the year 1996 I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. Shocking I know. How does this shit happen to a 13 year old girl??  Trust me, even the very own doctors were shocked. I don't have an explanation on HOW this happened, or WHY it happened to me, I wish I knew the answers to those same questions. I will go more in depth on that...stay tuned ;) 

  Trying to find my prince charming is pretty tough, specially after growing up around guys all your life and you 'think' you know when they're trying to bullshit you to get you in bed. I've been very lucky to date men who besides wanting to get a lil frisky on the first date, they are nice. lol I don't think of them as bad people, Hey...they want to see how far they can get.  If I sense they're not serious about getting to know me...I get up and go. I've had my share of great dates and 'almost relationships' Things go bad when I start feeling insecure and think they'll leave once they find out I can't have children. That ONE reallyyyy bad breakup....Yes! I'll talk more about that too.

   Weight loss has been a constant battle, better yet a WAR, ever since I was a little girl.  That has not changed. Working at a fitness center aka Bally Total Fitness for 7years you would think I would have this weight loss on lock down, well I sure DON'T.  It's hard. I won't give up though. Thank God I have great friends that keep me motivated.  That would be a loooong topic for me to talk about. Nervous about this one too. 

   Im ending this by saying how excited I am to be able to release so much thoughts, feelings I have inside. I know Im not the only one in this world going through these types of issues and others that will pop up during this blogging journey. This makes me very vulnerable and transparent, so don't judge me. Im not a good writer so don't criticize me on that. :-p

Asta la Proxima......

GOD IS GOOD